BAD ADVICE FOR GRADUATE STUDENTS



  1. Tell your advisor to suck on a breath mint before you meet with him.
  2. Stare out a window frequently; it inspires thoughtfulness among others.
  3. Lend only dry pens to those who ask to borrow one; eventually they will leave you alone altogether.
  4. Practice your Fields Medal acceptance speech every day, but leave the subject area blank for now.
  5. Wear bow ties to look smarter.
  6. When in class or seminar, interrupt the instructor if they speak too slowly.
  7. Judge your colleagues not by their accomplishments, but by their knowledge of pop culture trivia.
  8. In all job interviews, speak ill of your advisor.
  9. Have a good cry at your office at least once a week.
  10. If at first you don't succeed, try something easier.



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